So….. you’re going to be a mum! Whether you are a first time mum, 2nd or 3rd (or more!) … each time brings something different but one thing remains the same…
There’s always lots to learn
My aim here is to share an honest account of some things to expect plus the highs and lows of being a mum.
Here is me, tired and bloated with my 3rd baby.
Photograph by Angeline Foulkes of Diana Celine Photography
This was Christmas eve and I had been taking photographs at a Grotto all day. I had been meaning to have bump pictures to match up with the other two – mainly to avoid the future questions of “Where are all my pictures mummy?”… Anyway long story short….
I had been so busy in the run up to Christmas and kept putting it off and off and off and then, the only chance I had was a quick 10 minutes before I finished for Christmas. I really didn’t feel like it and if you zoom in closely (although I wouldn’t recommend it :D) , you can probably see, I hadn’t shaved my legs for about a year. eurgh
I am so glad I managed to summon up the energy for a mini photoshoot… A picture to keep forever.
Plus, alleviating any guilt of having pictures of the other 2 in my huge tummy but not baby number 3, as guilt plays a big part in motherhood… we feel guilty about everything.
(If my picture has inspired you to be brave and get your bump out Click Here)
“Wow, that’s a big mouth”
When that baby is placed in your arms, you will always remember your first thought. Now don’t feel guilty (although you probably will), if it’s not “Oh wow you are the most amazing thing ever”. Now I will be honest… With Rockrhun, my first, I did get this weird rushing feeling and thought “Gasp…Oh my god, I love him”.
Because the feelings were so strong, I was expecting for it to happen with Cielle (my 2nd) but as the labour was so different and so quick, (plus didn’t have time for drugs) my first thought was “Oh wow, look at her beautiful….red face” Poor little thing, came out so fast, her face was all swollen and practically purple. Within seconds of having her, guilt no.1 had already happened.
Now, Lucina, baby 3 was a funny one. I started with a slow labour but my waters hadn’t broken like with the other two. As soon as my waters broke, woah! The midwives described it as a flood (sorry) and Lulu came out within seconds. eurgh.
When I held her she was crying. My first thought was “Wow, that’s a big mouth” . Guilt no.1 with baby no.3 in 0.001 seconds.
So when you are well and truly ready for bed, the little one wants to party and when you want to party (well just try and get out of the house before midday), the little one wants to sleep.
I think our body tries to prepare us but we somehow ignore the signals. I remember having to go to the loo 5 times a night when I was pregnant with the girls (2 times a night with my son) and this strangely correlates with how many times they had to feed in the night… might be just a theory but let me know if yours matches up too. we might be on to something
Lots of crying
Now, I have been working with babies for about 12 years and some people have called me the baby whisperer (ha ha – if only I was with my own children) Over the years, I have learnt the signals and techniques to help calm a crying and unsettled baby.
As a parent, the overwhelming feeling of trying to make your baby happy and stop crying immediately, sometimes clouds rational thought. Being able to calmly assess the needs of a crying baby during our photoshoots, has an advantage. We can read the signals and can usually tell if baby needs food, sleep, cuddles or just wants to be left alone (sometimes they do!).
I have learnt a lot through trial and error with my own children. Rockrhun was an easy baby, slept through anything, didn’t need a dummy. Cielle, needed a dark room, no sound, swaddling, and a dummy… my word, it took lots of trials and tribulations to find her sleeping/settling routine!
The point is, every baby is different but there will always be crying…. always.
Trying to appreciate the little things
I remember having so many plans for when Rockrhun was born. “I’m going to sort out all my photos and put them into albums” etc. “I’ll have so much time!” Errrrr no.
Seriously. Rockrhun was a dream baby but remember, I was a first time mum and learning everything from scratch. I laugh at the silly things I did for example. We had a changing table in his room, so for the first few days (might have been hours but felt like days), every time he needed his nappy changing, I took him upstairs… to change his nappy… why?! Then I realised I could use the foldout changing mat that we had and keep a load of nappies down stairs.
Anyway the point is, you will be so busy learning and going from one end of the house to the other and trying to be the perfect mum, that it’s important you appreciate the little things. Don’t feel guilty for not sorting the photo album and all the other things you had planned.
How is it possible for tiny people to create so much washing?!
Sick, poo, dribble, snot. Be prepared….That’s all I can say on the matter really. You can always get cute pictures like this. Although at home, mine would also be mixed in with huge knickers and maternity bras.
The urge to kiss, hug and stare… all the time.
You won’t believe the love you have for those little people. They will probably be the most kissed little things on the planet… especially if they have siblings (or maybe not – depends on the jealousy factor) You can capture really cute photographs like this though if siblings are willing to give kisses away… or they can always be bribed 😀
One of the worries of having another child is “Will the other one be jealous?” “What if they don’t accept the new baby?” Well, we will never know until it happens but we just have to relax and not put too much pressure on them. One memory that sticks in my head is when the 2nd one came along, my family and friends, made a conscious effort to make a fuss of my first child before rushing over to the new baby and I always try to remember this when meeting a new baby with a sibling. It helps them feel included and special.
“Will I love the new baby as much?” is another. It’s hard to imagine loving another person but it just happens.. you will want to kiss, hug and stare at your new baby just as much as you did the first time.
What will my little person love?
Whether it’s dinosaurs, trucks or Peppa Pig, we will also have to love what they love, as we will see and hear alot of it. From about 2 and a half, my son was obsessed with Fireman Sam (eye roll emoji). That theme tune is so annoying after being on repeat over and over. From them being young, I learnt that getting out of the house is best for everyone’s sanity. Tire them out plus you can’t give in to the demands of annoying kids programmes.
That being said, sometimes annoying kids programmes can come in handy when you have an ipad and you need them to sit still for a little bit whilst you wait eagerly for a cooked breakfast in Bill Rimmers.
There are millions of other things I could harp on about but I will just say one thing. Having kids is definitely a journey, whether you have just set out or have been on the path for a while, remember to stop and smell the flowers. Appreciate the little things, the funny things, the silly things, the memories and take lots of pictures of course (for when the memories fade – you must have heard of baby brain?). Even the ones of them throwing tantrums (we need something to bribe them with when they get bigger and bossier than us)
We would love to hear your experiences! Let us know how you are finding pregnancy or motherhood.
If you want us to capture some memories for you click here .
A cheeky family picture of me and my lot
Thank you for reading!